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I hate to ask this, but can you please indicate if you watch me just for the DID posts I make or if you also watch for personal posts? You don’t have to answer, but it’s a bit unnerving to make a lot of personal posts but to rarely see followers respond and to have to wonder if people are ignoring them or just silently reading and possibly judging. I’m not sure if I should make a different account for them or what. Or, if you could just indicate in some way if you read the personal posts and don’t mind them, that’d be great. Sorry.
Quote reblogged from with 117 notes
[trigger warning: sexual abuse, rape]
At this point, I’m used to it. I’m used to being a survivor— at least, as comfortable as I could be considering all the years of fucked up memories. I’ve dealt with this for most of my life, whereas other people haven’t. For a lot of non-survivors, the truth of my childhood would be one of only a handful of moments when they were actually aware of such problems, if ever.
It’s like when you’re in the middle of a meeting or a class, and that one huge wasp flies into the room and starts circling heads, refusing to go away— people can’t help but stare at impending doom. Some will subconsciously hold their breaths and stay as still as possible to reduce unwanted attention. Others will laugh, or cough, or fidget as they fail to focus on the lecture. And some just sit there, not knowing what to do, as they stare into a void and pretend they don’t exist.
That’s what we do to other people— I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, but it’s there. With just a few words, I could mentally and emotionally vacate a room. I want to laugh at the concept of having this reluctant power, but it’s more sobering and melancholy than anything.
Survivors are symbols of impending doom, of collapse in society and the bursting of safe little bubbles. We are the harbinger of discomfort. We make people aware of how fragile their little lives really are.
Question with 1 note
queer-slut asked: im fine w that yea. like i have people that are totally separate headmates, but for myself i have these different "shifts". the shifts are still me, but theyre all different in some way. is this something other people experience or is there a name for it or st?
It could be DDNOS. If you don’t experience any memory alterations and the others feel like you in some form but still influence your actions and have a different identity from you, that’s possible. DDNOS stands for Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, and it basically means that you have a dissociative problem that doesn’t fit the criteria for the other Dissociative Disorders. It can range from strong ego states paired with dissociation problems to near alters that are just missing memory alteration (as well as including things such as depersonalization without derealization or other dissociative problems). I’m not sure if that fits for you, since I really don’t know anything else about the situation, but it might be something to consider, I guess. I mean, if you really want to know, a therapist is the best option, but I know that people can’t always do that for some reason or another, so.
TRIGGER WARNING -VICTIM BLAMING
- TRIGGER WARNING -VICTIM BLAMING
- Are you sure it happened?
- I don’t think that really happened.
- You’re exaggerating.
- They just lost control, you should forgive them.
- If you dressed differently, it wouldn’t have happened.
- I don’t believe you.
- You’re just saying that to get attention.
- Why would you try to ruin their reputation like that?
- They didn’t do that, they are a nice person!
- But he is such a nice guy!
- God is just punishing you for thinking about sex.
- That only happened because you are a slut.
- That only happened because you are bad at having sex.
- Well, you can’t say not after you already start kissing!
- Stop making such a big deal out of it!
- They only hit you because you have some bad qualities!
- God wants you to submit.
- It’s karma, did you ever do that to someone before?
- Well, you shouldn’t be alone!
- Stop provoking people!
- I believed you until you said it happened more than once.
- What?! That stuff doesn’t really happen.
- You MADE me hurt you.
- If that really happened, you wouldn’t talk about it openly.
- That kind of thing doesn’t happen around here.
- You never want to have sex. Why am I being punished for other people raping you?
- Why didn’t you call the police (or CPS)? ((tell my parents, in this case))
Survivors: Reblog and bold the ones you’ve experienced
queer-slut asked: i have a question about my own did? do you think you could maybe help w it?
I could try…? I have to warn you, though, this is a side blog, and to avoid giving away my main blog (I really don’t want them to be connected…), I can’t answer messages on anon. But if you’re okay with that, I’ll try my best to help you.
I found a new song that I like.
“If I Had a Heart” by Fever Ray
This will never end
Cause I want more
More, give me more
Give me more
If I had a heart I could love you
If I had a voice I would sing
After the night when I wake up
I’ll see what tomorrow brings
I discovered it from a show called “The Following” which is about a murder cult but is surprisingly accurate for a TV show. At least, the main villain’s actions as a psychopath tend to massively trigger me or send me swirling into good old fashioned Stockholm style feelings at least once an episode, so they’re definitely doing something right.
So of course I sought out the song so I could trigger myself even more.
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